Pink-Spider.net

Today, I was in one of those nostalgic moods, and reading through our list of why we love working at a campground. I was there for a long time, and honestly, I did love working there. I mean, I had awesome co-workers, and we had lots of… interesting times.

So, from that list I selected my favourite reasons. There were a few I didn’t include, but as you can imagine all of my co-workers is one of them. [/aww].
Comments added because… I can.

5. Dave’s songs. (Including the hit classic “Who’s the friendlest bear around…” spelled as “friendlest” and the best selling single “It’s nine o’clock it’s nine o’clock it’s time to close the pool!”)
We really should have gone through with a ‘Songs from the Campground’ CD. I mean, “It’s nine o’clock it’s nine o’clock it’s time to close the pool!” would be an instant classic.

10. We get worthy complaints such as, “There was too much dust on the road!”

I remember this one really well, too. We got it in an e-mail, where the lady complained about the most ridiculous things. Her other complaint was that Yogi didn’t come out, but I remember explicitly telling her it was because the zipper was broken, and hey, we’re not really in the market to traumatize children.

11. The Jesus rating. The triple J.
Ah, I still use the Jesus rating from time to time. After working there, it’s like it’s in your blood.

13. We hand out GAY passes.
This is one of my all-time favourite Jamrock stories.
Amanada was working, and we have these gate passes that we give out to people with their gate code on the back, so that they can get in and out. She was checking in this lesbian couple, and while she doesn’t have any problems with relationships like that, she kept telling herself not to say anything about it.
Which of course resulted in, “Here’s your gay pass”. Unfortunately, she even tried to correct herself, but clearly saying, “GATE” after that.
Luckily, they didn’t seem offended. Maybe they didn’t notice?

14. Dave’s random limping and outbursts (Such as, *opens door* OH MY GOD IT’S A GIANT UMBRELLA! *closes door*)
We have no idea where the limping comes from, but it’s a come and go ailment. I’ve never been clear on whether it’s real, or if he’s just doing it to do it.

20. People refer to our BooBoo cabins as “Booby Cabins”.
Happens at least once a year. Try not laughing during a reservation when someone says that.

22. Our flood picture. “YOU WANNA SEE RAIN!?”
One summer at NGV, we had a horrible storm. People were getting off the bus in knee deep water. The NGV staff? Oh, we were dry. We were taking photos of them from the office. Getting off the bus in knee deep water.

24. The intercom at the gate, and the children and campers who insist on pressing the buzzer which rings in our office and holding the button down for an unnecessarily long amount of time.
It’s true, and anyone who holds it sucks. Of course, when our own staff goes through the gate we do it just because we can. It’s fun when working with Amanada, we both take a moment to yell ‘shut up’ at it, as if it’s going to actually stop.
I also once told a child I was god, and not to press the button again.

27. BooBoo tripping over the fire pit, and being beheaded in front of innocent children.
Yeah, there’s not much you can add to this.

28. Operation Execute All Fish in the Fish Pond the day before the inspector arrives.
Ah, the inspector. Every year, we live for weeks on edge, waiting for the inspector’s arrival. Usually one of the other parks calls us to let us know if he’ll be in our area in the coming days, but you never know, he could hit us first.
Cut to the boys learning that the inspector was coming, and deciding to clean the pond. By adding bleach. It was clean. There was nothing in it, but at least it was clean.

29. The very classy Indian Heads.
No comment.

37. Some random camper takes a crap in the shower, and despite our efforts to clean it, each time someone goes to clean it up, someone ELSE is taking a shower WITH the crap.
Yeah, I don’t get this one. When I step into a public shower, I freaking look where I’m stepping. If saw anything that looked remotely like crap, I would not be getting in. Seriously. And poor Jim, Dave and Mr. A who have to clean it up.

47. People always get angry when they’ve been too stupid to make a reservation at the right campground and yell at us because it’s our fault we’re not Jellystone Toronto or the KOA.
Clearly it’s my fault that you called the wrong place. It’s also my fault that I answered, “Jellystone Niagara”, and you continued to assume we were another park.

48. All the calls we get thinking that our family campground is a sex hotline. “Are you wearing panties?”
Megan got the panties guy. I got one guy who was super embarrassed because he called twice, and the second time I asked him what he was looking for. Then, I also got the pushy guy who INSISTED that he had called this number before, and someone had helped him. At first, I had no idea what he was talking about, because he just kept saying he called before, and someone had helped him and told him to call back. So eventually I said, “Helped you with what?” And he said, “MASTURBATING”.

I then tried to explain that this was a family campground… he didn’t take that news lightly, and kept insisting he had called the right place. e_e I ended up hanging up on him.

50. Dave’s gate pass creation system.
Every time I read this one, I laugh. Just the image of Dave sitting there, with cue cards, punching big holes in them using a tiny hole punch, is terribly amusing. Although, it wasn’t so amusing being the morning shift and coming in to find all these tiny cut outs all over the floor.

56. All the sexual innuendos that go along with camping. (Ie. Let me take you down here on this computer, How big is it?)
We had a whole bunch more at one point, but I can’t remember them all now. There were a lot to do with wood. We even got a lot of customers who would make wood jokes, especially with the “no wood on the counter” sign.

64. NASON! ANDREA! SMILEY! SPARKLES!
Oh Mr. A and his names. I was Andrea for my first year or so. Then the name got passed down to Amanada. Nason, however, is my favourite. See, his name is Nathan. But Mr. A kept calling him ‘Jason’. One day Jenn decided to tell him otherwise, in a conversation that apparently went something like this:
Jenn: Nono, his name is Nathan
Mr. A: Jason?
Jenn: No, Nathan
Mr. A: NASON!?

From that day on, he was called Nason.
I also had a guy pay for wood once, but he had to go across the street to the gatehouse to get it. He asked me if there was a secret password that only staff knew he could tell the gatehouse boy, so he’d know he paid for his wood. I told him to say ‘Nason’. About an hour later, Jeff comes in and goes, ‘Did you tell some guy that the password was Nason to get his wood?’. Indeed I did. And it was awesome.

66. Random cabin checks by random oriental women.
I wasn’t there for this, but apparently some oriental woman wanted to see inside one of the Bare Bones cabins. There weren’t any available for her to look in, so the staff asked her to wait. She took matters into her own hands, and decided to check out a cabin… that had people staying in it. Needless to say, they came down to the office severely WTFed out.

67. The fact we regularly get asked, “Can you give me directions from my house?”
I don’t know what possesses people to ask this question. And they actually say, “from my house” not “from “. I mean if it’s somewhere in the general area (a couple hours away), or you know, in Canada we can probably help them out. But if it’s down in one of the southern states, what makes you think we know that? O_O

69. “When do you close?” “October 15th.” “Oh, can I come camping in November?” “No, we’re closed.” “So no one will be there?” “That’s right.” “You’re closed?” . . .
I had this exact conversation too many times to count.

71. People always ask if they can buy the “Great GEORGE Adventure Pass”.
This is probably not funny unless you know the Niagara Falls area, and know it’s the Great GORGE, not GEORGE.

72. Waking up in a cold sweat wondering if you put a 40ft motorhome in the tent section.
This is also one of the signs you’ve been working at a campground too long.

74. Druken idiots jumping over the fence, into the pool (after it’s closed) MINUTES after Dave has just poured ten gallons of chlorine in it. And the only remark she has is, “It feels warm!” “LADY! GET OUT OF THE POOL! YOUR SKIN IS BURNING! GO TAKE A SHOWER RIGHT NOW!”
I have nothing further to add on this amazing story.

76. Children who have an accident in the pool, resulting in the temporary closing of the pool, and the mother that doesn’t care if her children are swimming in poop.
I remember this lady. She was irate. I was trying to be polite, by saying there was an accident and we had to shock the pool. I even told her where a public pool was. Apparently, she’s okay with her kids swimming with crap.

79. Nina, and the too much information that she offered.
She was a swinger. She also asked Jeanette if she wanted to join.
Sharing is caring, right?

81. Truck rides around the park with Mr. A. “I gotta show you something, come with me!”
This is a campground classic. You know, after a while, you almost miss those rides.
I remember my very first one… back when I was nearly fifteen, and starting there. Mr. A took me around to show me the sites, so I knew more or less what I was doing. I remember being so shocked, because he’d give me descriptions like, “Put the French here, and put the teenagers next to them. The French will tell them to shut up at night. Put the Pakistani’s over here, they cook, and are loud.” And just stuff like that. He didn’t mean to be offensive about anyone’s race, but I remember just being like O_O!! Haha.

83. The fact that when someone does something retarded, we can put a violation on their site. We get such winning violations, such as “Was found dancing around campsite to loud disco music at 2am”.
Best. Violation. Ever.

88. People check out because we do not have a Shuffle Board and their ENTIRE FAMILY VACATION depends on it.
This is best told in script format. It features Me, Melinda and the family, and it went something like this.
It was a bright, sunny day at the campground. A family had just checked in, and came back shortly after to inquire about the shuffle board courts.
Me: Oh, actually, we don’t have the shuffle board courts right now.
Lady: …
Me: Sorry… but if you want to borrow a basketball, soccer ball, or bocce ball, we have the equipment for that.
Lady: It says in your brochure you have shuffle board. Lady opens a brochure
Melinda: Oh! Well, we don’t have them right now. Takes a pen a crosses off shuffle board All fixed! ^^
Lady: Okay.

Melinda’s shift ended, and she headed home. About an hour later, the family came back.
Irritating Daughter of the Lady: I’M BORED.
Lady: We came here, because it said that you had shuffle board, and there’s none.
Me: Well, we can find a local park that offers it.
Lady: We came here specifically for the shuffle board. You don’t have it. We have a family shuffle board tournament every year. Now our family reunion is RUINED. We want a refund. We’re leaving.
Me: Unsure if they’re serious or not. Okay… just bring me your gate pass, and I can issue your refund.

So, they did. O_O WHO LEAVES OVER SHUFFLE BOARD? SERIOUSLY?
A few weeks later, we had another couple come in…
Guy: Where’s your shuffle board court?
Me: I’m sorry. We actually don’t have one right now.
Guy: It says in your brochure that you do….
Me: I know, I’m sorry. Honestly, it’s grown over right now. We’re going to be working on fixing it up in the future.
Guy: That’s it! We’re leaving! I want a refund.
Me: *sigh* Okay, just bring me your gate pass, and I can do the refund for you.
Guy: What! No! I was just kidding!
Guy’s Wife: We really like it here!
Me: Oh I’m sorry! We just had that happen a few weeks ago…
The Couple: e_e Seriously?
Me: Yep. Seriously.

91. Mr. A’s field trips.
I think I can safely say, that for the most part, the staff at the campground always did their best to go out of their way to help our customers.

Especially Mr. A. Who would frequently drive people to get things they needed, if they had a problem and couldn’t do it themselves.

Cut to the one year, before he got his eye surgery, where he was driving with Greg and a customer down to get a new trailer part. Not only did Greg have to keep an eye on the road, Mr. A told the customer stories along the way, as they passed certain points of interest.

On the way back, he did the same thing. Just in reverse.
That. Is awesome.

95. How the Super Saver rack always mysteriously gets filled and re-filled.
Seriously, we hardly ever see the guys who refill the Super Saver rack. O_O There have been years where we have been told to tell them not to fill it anymore, but it’s like you look one minute and it’s getting low, and when you look again, it’s magically filled. e_e It’s creepy.

96. Fran. Is she a woman? Is she a man? Is she just a pretty transvestite? We will never know. But at least she’s nice.
We love Fran. She is awesome. She’s hilarious, and always make a point to come talk to us. She only came for two years, but we’ll never forget her visits. Sometimes, you just get awesome customers.

100. CHEED CHEESE FRETZEL PEICES
The spelling on our inventory list in the computer is just utterly amazing.

103. “Can I go swimming in the falls?” “Can I have a site where I can see the falls from it?” “Can I have drinks in the whirlpool?”
So many times I was tempted to say, “Go ahead”.

104. People who are shocked to learn they have to cross the border to get into Canada.
It is a novel idea. I mean, going into a new country… having to cross a border. WHO KNEW. I especially liked the guy who thought that despite he was coming to our campground, which he knew was in Canada, thought he wouldn’t have to cross the border to do so.

110. The fact that stories tend to get more and more involved with every person you hear them from. “How do you know she was naked?” “Because she was peeing out the window!”
Stories were always a big part of working at the campground. Something small, always turned into an awesome tale. The stripper peeing out of the window was the classic one. I don’t know if anyone knows the true details, but from my understanding this is what happened.

A guy brought his trailer to the park to stay for a few nights. He was from the GTA. He went out on the town one night, and a stripper stole his truck. He couldn’t report it as stolen, because he had broken parole by coming down here. She returned it, and ended up staying in the trailer. When she was coming in she was naked (maybe drunk) and peeing out the window. How she accomplished that, I wll never know. Eventually the cops came for the guy and arrested him. A week or so later his ex-wife and her daughter came to pick up the trailer… they were special. The bought a cheap necklace for $10.00, and then complained that a can of pop cost $1.00.

111. “Yogi has a girlfriend too! RANGER! RANGER!”
Again, I didn’t hear this one. It was told to me by Melinda, but it is awesome.
We have a song that the kids sing on their hayride. It’s “I know someone you don’t know, Yogi, Yogi, I know someone you don’t know, Yogi, Yogi Bear. Yogi Yogi Bear! Yogi Yogi Bear! I know someone you don’t know, Yogi Yogi Bear”.

There are more verses to it, including, “Yogi has a girlfriend too, Cindy. Cindy.” However, one little boy who was singing his heart out in the campground store, decided that the lyrics instead, were, “Yogi has a girlfriend too! RANGER! RANGER!”.

Well, it could happen.

112. “We’re bringing our kayaks with us. Can we go kayaking over the falls?”
Just do it.

113. The fact that we have this conversation about 50 times a day. “Hello, Jellystone Niagara!” “HI! Is this Jellystone Niagara? In Niagara Falls?”
I mean, since I answer the phone, “Jellystone Niagara”, this clearly is not the Jellystone in Niagara Falls. It must be elsewhere. It’s a good thing you checked, because sometimes, we like to be tricky.

118. Our air mattress deflatation techniques.
Which include putting the air mattress in the middle of the store, and rolling around on it.
Of course, this was all taped on the security cameras.

Well.
That’s that.
There are more that I love, but these are what stuck out to me right now.

I miss the campground at times, but not enough to give up my job here, haha. Since I do really love my teaching job. It’s just nice to reminisce every now and then.