For the 100th time, seriously!?

So you know, when you reach a point in something (and it really could be anything, a relationship, a job, a project) where you start to think, why the hell should I even bother?

Where you know that despite your most valiant efforts, you’re going to get cut down regardless of what you do. Rejected, insulted or maybe never even noticed. But whatever form it comes in, when you start to realize it’s coming you start to wonder if it’s all actually worth it in the long run.

There are a few things I’m feeling like that about right now.

Unfortunately, I’m way too emotional and I take pretty much every single thing to heart. It’s not that I mean to, but I guess that I’m just built that way (which, I hate saying). I suppose I could always try to change; grow a thicker skin and what not, but it just never seems to work out like that.

There are so many things I wish I had the guts to say to you. Mainly because I’m tired of having regrets and if I said them, I’d have no reason to regret it later and no reason to think about all the what-if’s. But in my mind the outcome has already been constructed (which, of course doesn’t make it true but it’s hard to get around) and I’m sure we all know what that outcome would be.

I just really can’t handle going through something like that again. I’m not really built for that kind of drama and stress. I don’t particularly enjoy conflict.

People need to relax and stop acting like there’s something shoved up their ass all the time. I mean seriously, how do you get off on being a complete jerk to someone for no real reason other than you can’t find anything better to do with your time. I swear this world is made up of people like my neighbour and it feels like they’re all coming out of the woodwork at once.