Need a break.

I hate the feeling that if I don’t do it, it won’t get done.

Even worse, is that I know it’s true.

Because it’s been proven time and time again.

I need a break too sometimes.

And I’d love just to leave it alone, and say fuck it. But I can’t. Because we’ve worked too hard to let it come to that. I know no one’s making me do this, but why put all this work into it and let it all go over a few down days where you just feel like relaxing? Which is the exact reason why day after day, you see things done. Despite the fact that on many days, there are other things I would prefer to spend my time on. A few things have already slipped, because quite frankly I can’t continue to do everything I do all on my own. And even if I do ask for help, so few people respond that we never go anywhere. Or it’s a half-assed response that doesn’t actually help alleviate the situation.

Despite what may be popular belief, I do do a lot of other things. I’m tired too. I have other things too.

I’m not the kind of person who’s going to bother someone and ask them to do something they’re so obviously not interested in helping with.

So here I am, stuck again. It’s a great feeling.

Especially when everyone else seems to be okay with taking weeks or months off. I wish I felt okay with doing that.

Sometimes I think maybe we should just drop it. Part of me feels like it’s totally worth it, and the other part tells me I’m lying to myself.

If you feel like it’s necessary to roll your eyes at this, go for it. But you know how eventually, you reach that breaking point of frustration and you just need to vent? I reached that point about a week ago. I’m finally venting.